~Spoon, Underdog
i feel quite unable to insulate myself from the insensitive, arrogant intolerance of the blogosphere. it hurts my heart a great deal. i find myself very saddened that, in the 21st century, we seem unable to dialogue about sensitive issues without sneering, jeering, snide insinuations, without kicking sand in each other's eyes.
i feel at a real loss ... as to how to insulate myself from bruises that intolerance stamps upon my spirit. once again i ask ... how can one tolerate the intolerant, the intolerable? is there a way? is that way ... simply to retreat? when the intolerant masses appear only to want to hear themselves yell and scream their vulgar thoughts ... then what? part of me wants to listen ... but each word cuts. the message holds importance, because its what another human thinks and feels ... and i want to know why. but ... the longer i hold my eyes open, the more they hurt from the sand which gets kicked into them.
i must close my eyes now ... to that part of the blogosphere that seems rife with contempt and vengence for that which remains misunderstood. and that saddens me, because i know that my weakness makes it so ... i want so much to understand and to be understood. i fear this revulsion that fills my chest each time i read words such as ...islam, the evil ... muhammad, the warlord ... we need war to achieve peace. HOW DO I ACCEPT WHAT MY HEART AND SOUL FEEL UNABLE TO ACCEPT? HOW DO I LOVE HATRED? AND NOT BECOME THAT HATRED? IS THERE A WAY?
... expand the post if you dare ...
will humanity ever learn?
i fear not. as long as we think killing those unlike us will solve all of our problems. as long as we fail to put down our fists, and our hateful, vengeful words. as long as we hold the rage of revenge closest to our hearts. as long as we obliterate all of the divine light that lives inside of us with our conceit, our ego-driven hubris, and the blind faith of intolerant superiority. as long as we strive to dominate. as long as we react before we reflect. as long as we regard our belief systems as golden, ideological nuggets which we must bolster above all else, at any and all cost.
we all come from the same divine dust. and return to said dust, we all will.
the world exists today, as it does, because of all of the yesterdays that have passed. the warring spirits that infect this world have only grown, not diminished ... and they continue to grow so rapidly. we did not put them there ... our forefathers did. but ... we have failed to learn ... about love ... about unity ... about understanding.
Surely, those who believe, those who are Jewish, the Christians, and the converts; anyone who believes in GOD, and believes in the Last Day, and leads a righteous life, will receive their recompense from their Lord. They have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.
qu'ran 2:62
This means challenging my self to compassionate, encouraging, genuine and hostile-free exchanges. It also means contemplating my reaction to the thoughts, feelings and expressions of others, prior to acting upon them. 
10 comments:
Hugs friend...that is all I can say for now. I will return soon- but thank you...sincerely- thank you- for being close to me in spirit in the last 2 weeks.
♥
hugs to you, too.
thanx for reading this. it has rattled around my heart for the better part of the day.
things that occur to me ~
no one group of people OWNS God.
an institution does not equal or define God.
we ~ who believe ~ all surrender ourselves to the same God.
our preconceptions, prejudices, and the limits of our egos kill us everyday that we fuel them. today i have felt these things killing my soul, slowly sucking the lifeblood from it.
yes, dear readers, vampires do exist. spiritual vampires surround us.
today i feel raw ~ like the rawness of deeply shorn skin ... that exposes layers which normally do not touch the elemental world.
mantissa,
i read...
cringe ....
then cringe somemore ..
..
and don't comment ..
i don't visit for a while.
but for some reason i always go back. it is conceivable to harbor a fondness for those who harbor hatred.
i've felt for a long time through your comments in another blogging life that we were political kindred spirits
and perhaps even spiritual ones..
foam,
thank you ~ you get it, you know of what i speak. i, too, often feel drawn to go back. i suppose you're wiser than me, in that you refrain from commenting, but you still read. i feel its important to hear opposing views, so we better understand our own, and the conflict at hand.
and, yes, i do find myself feeling some sort of ... fondness for some who harbour hatred about certain things. to me, its such a quandry a mystery, how those i otherwise like could behave in such a revolting fashion. it tears at me ... how could i feel fondness for that? but ... how could i not, for after all, a human is a human, regardless of his/her philosophy of life. it muddles me.
i am reading a book by Karen Armstrong about Muhammad. wow ~ what a misunderstood man ... a misunderstood religion ... a misunderstood group of people. it saddens me so.
about our kindred-ness ~ i think this, too.
on something entirely unrelated ... the stories of your mother's ww2 experiences interest a great deal ... will you post more, sometime? i think that is a history, those are stories which we must know. the approach of 11.11 makes me think of this.
oh ... and how is your mother's rehab progressing? smashingly, i hope, and free from complications ...
i can harbor fondness, even love, for those with whom i do not see eye to eye. i do know what you are talking about but i was also thinking of people i know in meatspace. i have plenty of relatives who's opinions make me cringe....and yet, i adore them.
i'll be back..
its easier in meatspace than in cyberspace ... particularly with those cyberpeople who do not seem real ... as in no identity that makes them human, besides their opinions, viewpoints. such individuals, to me, seem to want the rest to think of them as their viewpoints.
and therein lies the rub.
indeed, i have many relatives, etc. in meatspace with whom i do not see eye-to-eye. i know these people as individuals and they do not go around taking every opportunity that exists to create conflict. they are multi-dimensional people. and that's the difference, i suppose.
i guess some of us are a little impetuous, in that we absolutely must get in the last word. and perhaps even derive pleasure from goading ... know what i mean?
no one in meatspace i know is a bigot, tho. i have little use for such individuals. i do, however, have an older half-sister with whom i used to have contact; she became one of those extreme, right wing-type, cultish, proselytizing religious types. i, unable to stop the constant tirades and proselytizing, had to cut off all ties with her. she could simply not stop herself and could simply not expose myself to that. i hold no ill will ... simply, just have to protect myself, insulate myself.
its an ego thing perhaps ... or perhaps its deeper than that for me ... this sort of hatred really cuts me, on a deeply personal level. i am not sure why i feel so very, extremely offended by all that hostility and hatred.
perhaps this next statement will sound like a total cop out, and indeed, it exposes my weakness/flaw, but .... it seems to me a little easier to tolerate intolerance of intolerance. as in intolerance of violence, intolerance of bigotry/hatred ... etc.
do i make some sort of sense?
of course, that last part makes perfect sense ..
if i've been linked to your site for hours it's cause i didn't shut down, went to visit the obstinant mom in the nursing home, who is apprently progressing along well enough to get herself into trouble ... such as falling down twice because she won't ring for the staff when she needs help ... sigh ..
and from there i went to the grocery store.
foam
when i worked in ortho surgery, patients would do that too, sometimes ... feel real good and then see how busy we were, and so take it upon themselves to ambulate unassisted. and then say ... "well, dear, you're so busy, i didn't want to bother you."
go figure.
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