Fears ~ What are they?

Photo taken by me in SW England, 2008

False
Expectations
Appear
Real

• The underlying foundations of a weak self-image and self-concept ~ they keep us from fully asserting ourselves, and hinder our quest of self-actualization.
• Inhibitors, emotional blocks, unconscious messages, uncovered elements of our psychological make up ~ they result in our resistance, hesitation and/or unwillingness to participate in nurturing and healing activities.
• Excuses we hide behind to avoid growth or change
• Irrational beliefs
• Negative self-scripts we have given ourselves or that were given  us about how we will suffer dire consequences if we involve ourselves in certain activities or behaviours.
  

Fears have plagued me, of late. Silly, ridiculous fears which create inertia and stagnation. So much opportunity lies at my feet, I just need to grab hold and plant myself there! But there's that old fear of crossing that bridge which spans the ravine. I have tried to tell myself every excuse why I should refrain from reinstating my RN license ... and return to work part-time in my beloved profession. None of these excuses stands up under scrutiny. I have skill, I have passion and patience. I know that I was a great nurse, and can be that again. You can take the girl out of the nurse, but you can't take the nurse out of the girl. I have heard whispers of the universe telling me to take that leap, swallow the fear, embrace opportunity and growth.

And, so I will take heed.

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."

~Marie Curie

**Note to Readers ~ On a topic entirely unrelated to this post ... Please take the time to visit my friend Mayden's Blog and read her latest post. It's beautiful and divinely written.**

the world's ultimate sustainable resource?

fear

the fat capitalist pigs and those with the biggest power hard-ons have and continue to build an entire layer of capitalism, based on keeping people scared, based on telling them that terror lies just over that next hill. check out this article, written by naomi klein.

so ... are ya feelin' lucky, punk? are ya?

compassionate ephiphany

i felt the despair in that man's eyes. on the tv screen. i could see the resignation and sadness pressed into the weary creases of his face. failure of the surgical team to retrieve a clamp from his abdominal cavity wreaked devastating consequences on this man's health. the show, on TLC, documented cases such as this which occured worldwide. i felt the fear and loss thru the tv's photon screen. i did. and a feeling chilled my heart. i turned to M. and said quietly, 'i don't want to have that kind of power over people. i simply can't.' and that sentence embodies the reason why i cannot allow myself to return to the practice of nursing. and the battle i waged throughout my own practise of nursing. from day 1.

on my very first day as a graduate nurse - the day after i wrote my gruelling 6 hour nursing exam - i peed myself as i stepped off of the elevator and onto the 4th floor of the small urban hospital. my first day responsible for my own practise. sure, i would be paired up with a veteran nurse for several weeks. still, to have live-or-die control over another human. in such a hostile, technical environment. that a human could die at my hands ... by my own action ... as a result of a careless error, or worse yet - as a result of circumstances over which i have no influence at all!

how similar nursing and soldiering seem me now.