the nature of water

i am water ~
flowing to the lowest places,
sometimes stormy,
sometimes bottomless,
mostly, though ~
taking the shape of my surroundings.


Wolf of Water by ~yuumei on deviantART

happiness - a choice or a destination?

	Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

a dear friend
- a very wise, dear friend -
said to me one evening,
'happiness is a choice.'
i pondered this statement a while.
it seems to me
that so many of us live our lives
as though an ultimate destination or nirvana
will appear before us in a cloak of happiness.
do we suffer through the purgatory,
the protestant work ethic, and the bondage
of a profit-driven, capitalist society
in exchange for the grand prize of 'happiness' ... ?
or do we create our own
trickles and droplets of happiness,
which eventually pool into some cool-running stream
and flows through our existence?
try something. mindfulness - awareness.
savour the small details
over which you normally gloss.

how do you see happiness?
a choice?
a destination?

holding on

	Steve Winwood - Holding On
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

i am 39 and holding.
holding? holding what?
... well ... everything.
and then ... slowly,
i begin realizing that
i cannot hold onto everything
forever.
children exist for a purpose
beyond the realm of their parents.
and, sometimes,
marriages dissolve.
i will turn 40 this year.
how did i get here, so soon?
and ...
did i ever imagine myself,
at 40,
prowling the dating scene?
i gasp, then sigh,
as i limp back
to my own forgotten base
like a damaged warplane.

the stitch-ripper

Those who sew will agree that sewing stitches into any piece feels far easier that ripping said stitches out of said piece. It's sort of how love and life seem, ain't it? It goes without saying that the tighter the sewn stitch, the greater the difficulty in removing it, and the greater the likelihood of needle-poke scarring. And then, on re-stitching we find that the constitution of the fabric has weakened from that recent trauma. This makes cupid's sewing task more difficult.

3-D

The 3-D approach to living: deflate, deflect, or depart (from) negative energy/emotions.

We own our emotions ~ no one else does. That means they're our responsibility to modulate ... filter ... alter. No one makes us feel a particular way; only one's self does that. We create it ... we gotta live with it, ride it, so to speak.

So ... if you find yourself harbouring a bad attitude ... then change it! its no one else's fault, but your own. So ... remember change the things we can change, accept those which can't change.

3 comments:

K9 said...

agreed! its hard to apply, but practice helps. how are you? its good to see you.

04 September 2008 06:20

Mayden' s Voyage said...

I have a quote on my desk that I read often (and yet- never often enough) it says,
"No one is responsible for your happiness- EXCEPT you!"

The older I get- and the more people let me down- the more I realize how and where I pin my hopes on THEM...rather than looking to myself to make things right, and good, and satisfying.

Ultimately my happiness, success, joy, and fulfillment depend on me-
ME.
At once it's a tough thing to accept, and yet very liberating once I do.

My best to you friend- and in all things, make yourself happy.

-me :)

05 September 2008 16:49

ThursdayNext said...

I am with Cora on this one - I always keep myself in check with my daily attitude...I just go to the mirror, smile, count my blessings, and forget the small stuff.

07 September 2008 07:06

a dream ~ white blindness

i could see her. what she looked like. her blonde hair. feathered, and spilling over her face. covering the left side of her face, in fact. including her eye. which, somehow, i knew somehow no longer sat in its socket. something terrible, horrible had happened to her, causing her to loose her eye. and somehow, her other eye did not see. i knew this, without knowledge of how i came to this knowledge.

it felt strange ... oddly strange ... looking at this creature, who seemed as real as if in real space and time. i have never seen her before. she did not look familiar.(i often dream about people i don't know) and then ... suddenly i found myself in her. inside her. inside her eyes. and ... trapped. behind the eyes that could no longer see. and ... of course, being roxanne, i panicked. and fought the blindness. i reminded myself this blindness did not belong to my eyes. this blindness ~ a mere illusion. still, i could not see. and i felt the oppression of powerlessness. it surged through my psyche. and i tried ... with all my might to open my eyes. and then ... i awoke. in a complete and cold sweat. night shirt absolutely soaked, sticking to me.

i'm guessing that this dream somehow has a connection to a news feature i saw on blind golfers last night. one man told the story of how he lost sight in his left eye, when a puck hit it and then went to work a few days later with the damaged eye patched and then lost his right eye in a work-related accident (d/t the loss of depth perception, no doubt). stories like this weird me out because i empathize. like, that's an understatement. i feel people. yes, feel them. its trippy. i suppose its partly why i don't like them touching me. that's trippiness beyond my tolerance capacity ~ touching makes the connection more intense. my soul felt a chill when i heard this man describe in detail the events that led to the loss of his right eye. like, i could almost feel it happening. i fear loss of sight and control of limbs over all else. even over loss of life. caring for and even thinking about those afflicted by these events humbles me ... in that devastating way ... that way that reminds us what nothings we are, in the universe. how traumatic to feel this, really feel it.

and so, hence the dream. i mean, that's how my eccentric psyche processed the event.