i will sometime today ~ thursday.]
today. 10 years ago. today. it happened. its funny, when one resolves to stop trying to forget, it seems less difficult ~ less painful ~ to remember. what's done is done. past. time to move on. no pity. just joy. for what was. and for what is ... now.
when my husband decided to take off for a second time, about a week ago, i reached out to a friend with whom i had no contact for 2 years. a nursing friend. a kindred spirit. to give you some idea: she's a cross between enemy of the republic, mayden, and she/k9 ... yeah all those three rolled into one. she's suffered so, at times in her life. that suffering actually forced me to call her ... when i thought mr. mantissa was not coming home. she knows that feeling. that awful feeling that He will not come home anymore. only, in her case, her man died, and they never, ever found the killer.
can people move on from this sort of devastation? ahhh, yes, but with a great deal of difficult work. talk about your upstream swims! the girl's got nuthin' on those salmon. even when i felt nothing but deep anger for her, i admired her resolve to survive. and she can keep up with me ~ she's a tough, smart cookie. a little krazy, but who isn't? besides, if you ever find yourself in the ER, she's the girl you want lookin' after you.
so ... what's to celebrate?
expand the post to see a lovely little critter.
instead of thinking of my own son,
i will spend today thinking of this child ~
a sparkling joy to celebrate.
ya did good, girl. now ... the fun begins.
This means challenging my self to compassionate, encouraging, genuine and hostile-free exchanges. It also means contemplating my reaction to the thoughts, feelings and expressions of others, prior to acting upon them. 
