Friday, December 01, 2006

world AIDS day - december 1st

Friday, December 01, 2006

i'm sick and tired of hearing this fucking bullshit about how abstinence can solve the bloody AIDS problem. that's right up there with 'the war on drugs' is the way to combat addiction. AND ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT! too bad that most of the people spewing such nonsense don't know what they're talking about. really. can we get passed ideologizing sex for a moment? can we? can we get passed all the judgementally loaded rhetoric? and see the issue?

the issue is this - a disease that's killing an entire generation of humanity. all around the world. and you think ... oh well, they're marginalized ... no one will notice. and you think ... well, tough shit, they brought it on themselves. and you think ... fucking faggots, serves them right for fornicating. oh ok. that's narrow, ain't it? do yourself a favour. learn about AIDS. do you know anyone afflicted by HIV/AIDS? do you know anyone who's died of AIDS? i keep sensing this insidious implication that it doesn't matter. they're all a bunch of faggots anyhow, right? who cares? besides ... abstinence will solve it all. what about the here and now?

here's a little tidbit for you.

he's got the mind and age of 56 years old. and the body of a 75 year old. ravaged by a disease that has depleted most of his immunity to fight off anything. many of the antretroviral meds have damaged his liver ... sending his bad cholesterol levels sky high. they have also damaged his gut, rendering it unable of processing any solid food without nausea, vomitting and profuse diarrhea.

he lives on kool-aid and protein power sprinkled into a shake made from soy milk and bananas. he's tired ... so tired. and sleeps 12, sometimes 14 hours per 24 hour period. and not in a row. his gums have receded. he's lost his teeth. he's not eligible for another set for a couples more years. will he live that long? good question. he's frail. it scared me - to see someone waste away. he's weak. i worry constantly about falls. he's toast if he falls. he's toast if he gets sick. i'm aware that i am a potential danger to him and must act accordingly. in so many small ways that many of you could not even imagine.

and that is the tip of the iceberg. i have not told you about the incredible pain. the pain that 130 mg of long-acting morphine taken twice daily barely keeps at bay. and the loneliness. who wants a partner dying of AIDS? and the fear of persecution. he's convinced that people will treat him with scorn if he discloses his true diagnosis. he's convinced he's unacceptable to the world at large. save for the GBLT community. even his own mother fears him because of his diagnosis.

now ... think. think. think. can you see how the issue of AIDS goes far beyond a debate about abstinence vs condoms? of course, i'm assuming you've dropped that ridiculous notion that homosexuality as a causal factor of AIDS. not everyone needs to ideologize sex. not everyone sees the bible a written-in-stone instructional booklet. not everyone sees life thru such a filter. please ... please ... please ... take this day - WORLD AIDS DAY - as an opportunity to drop the ideologizing about sex and sexuality. just LEARN about AIDS. and what's it like to live with.

image originally uploaded by casa de woof


Bob Souvorin said...

Wow, you write with a great deal of feeling, fervor, and more than a dollop of anger and resentment. Please, that is not meant as a criticism, but as something to be proud of. Our blog world is filled with so much tepid silliness, that it is refreshing to read a passionate call for change.
I write a blog on accessing creativity:
and the reason I bring this up is I maintain lines of communication with a fair number of visual artists and writers. Based upon your latest post, I have one woman I will recommend to you:
Her name is Nancy Bevilaqua
Thanks for posting.


Infinitesimal said...

give me the address where you are right now i'll send you the miracle water