Tuesday, December 05, 2006

dear g-d

Tuesday, December 05, 2006
please give me the strength and the patience to tolerate other humans ... i know, i know, they're your creations. but, dear g-d ... why so slow on the uptake? why can't they speak honestly? without all the flashy, fluffy rhetoric? why can't they follow direction? why can't they listen AND hear? why do they exclude? g-d ... why don't i fit in anywhere? i feel likeable, most of the time. so, why do i have no friends? how do i know who i can trust? who i can believe?

in a world full of bull shit it's so fucking hard, g-d, to smell the roses. really. i try. maybe not hard enuf. i see so much complacency, greed, ignorance, thoughtlessness. and just plain mean-ness. y'know? lack of compassion. g-d .... it makes me incredibly sad. when i think of it all ... i wonder ... how do you deal with the constant disappointments we present to you? your creation ... it lets you down ... falls short of the mark.

g-d ... grant me serenity ... patience and wisdom. remind me that its not a popularity contest. remind me that its not any sort of contest. remind me ... fill my heart with something good. something i can hold onto. something. that doesn't make me feel empty as soon as it touches me.