Saturday, April 21, 2007

straight up

Saturday, April 21, 2007
straight up, i asked him. just went up to him, at just before getting ready to leave. and asked him ... if anything about me made him uncomfortable. asked him - was i doing anything to cause the awkwardness between us that i sensed? was there a problem ... with me? something i needed to fix?

he responded no. he loved having me around. i shouldn't worry.

ok. and them we chatted a little more until rudely interrupted. and that was that.

and now ... in the days that follow. it seems by naming the awkwardness, i have made it disappear. whether or not his response reflects reality ... its not the point. he gave the only answer reality can handle. of course he would answer no. but ... i have silently acknowledged the chemistry between us. and its made our interactions pleasant, not and uncomfortable series of successive shut-downs.

interesting ... and holy fuck - that straight up thing ain't easy to do! but it sure felt good!