life's LOOP - end ... beginning

its OVER
whew!
finally
weeks
upon weeks
of separation
will come
to a grinding halt
in a matter of days!
the story -
the details of
how this all came to be -
that's not important
just ... that lonely separation
will end ...
and life together
on the west coast will begin
again!
i am not posting very often
coz i am working lots
and school sucks up the rest of my time
also ... having to walk down the hill
in the cold rain to get online
is sort of a disincentive.
and ... i have nothing
significant to say here.
i have no time to visit
others' blogs as i used to
so ... forgive me
and ... right or wrong ...
crazy or sane ....
i have felt there is sort of
a STEPFORD WIVES mentality
in this atmosphere of bloggers
i rale against it whenever i can
i know ... i know ...
it makes me very unpopular
i can draw the correlation
between comments and emails
and angry posts that appear
this blog
oh well ... your loss, not mine!
there is one blogger-person
who emails me as life permits
irregardless of what appears
in my blog ... that is a true
FRIEND - one who knows
all about me and still
chooses to reach out
and like me.

reflect on FRIEND -
what does that word
mean to you?

is it just some person
who says nice, patronizing
things whenever you behave
in the expected manner?

or ... ?

now ... onto my boring life
i am smoking PILES
of weed ...
i am learning about
programming structure
like ... logic statements
that form programmes
ie - IFTHENELSE statements,
DOWHILE statements
blah blah blah
the chapter on arrays -
a lengthy one with lots
of scary stuff in it -
looms in the foreground
i am counting my ass
off at some big stores
everyday -
i think i shall likely
work 12 or more hours
tomorrow -
starting at about 0800
and finishing at about
2100, maybe 2200
its a Winner's store tomorrow
and then 2 jean stores
and sunday ...
its linen's 'n things
a MF of a store!
and some clothing/jean store
in the evening
and then monday
i have to keep learning
and keep on working -
london drugs in the evenings
i smoked a joint - no, 2 - with my boss
on wednesday night
on the way home from
some far out place
HAHA.
what a blast.
well, as you see
my life is really boring
but quite productive
my material joy surrounds the fact
that i now have water-proof shoes
and enough weed to last me
thru the weekend
i have not done laundry in
about 3 weeks - no time
so i just keep buying a few more
pairs of undies, socks
and another white shirt
(work requires a white shirt
and black pants .... yeah, lets
all try to keep a white shirt
white for longer than 5 minutes!)
i know ... its cheaper to just wash
clothes ... well, time
does not allow me.
pathetic, huh?
i like my job
i do not have to fight
anxiety attacks to get out the door
to work
i look forward to going to work
even if its ungodly early.
i received the registered letter
informing me
that my name no longer appears
on the register of nurses,
since i have let my license
lapse.

nd END.
and .... also a BEGINNING.
life is like a loop.
a series of progressions
that loop back onto themselves
as long as the required conditions
hold true.

i need bifocals
and some dental work
and i need a gram or two
of cocaine
so i can pull off
a succession of all-niters
very soon - catch up on life
without sleep requirements
getting in the way.