where do seagulls sleep?

i mean ... really?
i don't see them anywhere,
when i am out smoking my spliff
in cathedral park at 2 am
they do not appear in the trees,
perched on the light posts,
or on top of tall buildings.
for that matter -
i never see birds at night.
where do they go?
i do not see them in the trees,
either.
hmmm ....

perhaps some secret portal
to the supernatural world
exists - thru which birds
have special access -
you know, they carry souls
to their (souls') next destinations?
yes ... of course they do -
why else do you think
such a superstition exists -
that seeing a bird
in one's own house
means someone in that household
or known to that household
will DIE.

can spiders land on their feet?
i don't suppose they can.
just a thought that popped into
my head at random

i have no internet connection
in my present abode
that means i hafta go to
the 24-hour wireless internet cafe
two blox down

i write these blogs
to stay sane
stephen king once said
that if he didn't write
all that twisted shit
he may well be a twisted
criminal or deviant.
the concept applies to me -
if i write the stuff here
then it does not
get in the way of living
ie - the very act of expressing
a passing self-nihilistic thought
(ie i want to dematerialize/die)
sheds the notion that i would ever
actually contemplate such actions

i slept 4 hours last nite
i told myself that
i really must sleep more than this
when, after flushing the toilet and
preparing to leave the bathroom stall,
i stopped to look for my umbrella!
(WHY WOULD I NEED AN UMBRELLA IN THE TOILET?)
ha ha ha ha ha

i dreamed about programming control structures -
patterns of logic used in program design
yes - i dreamed about IFTHENELSE,
i dreamed about SIMPLE SEQUENCE,
i dreamed alot about DOWHILE.
i really need to get a life.

its starting to happen.
its been at least 9 weeks
since i had any kind of (not self induced)
orgasm
suddenly - i find myself rating
every man i see!
ha ha ha ...
like - on the skytrain -
i silently rate them all,
in my head -
oooh, yeah, he looks like a 6 -
he's clean, has some style, has manners,
doesn't look like a SQUARE and
THE KICKER - clean hands and finger nails!
no one that isn't already martin
(or a very close facsimile -
as far as i know,
only 2 of those exist
in the world -
neither of them on this continent)
gets anything higher than a 6.

i don't so much miss
the actual vulgar, messy part of sex
just ... miss having male attention
lavished upon me
and miss the conversation

i like my job
like that conditions provided
enable me to succeed,
assuming i apply myself
like that progress and excellence
get recognized and rewarded
like that the private sector
does not seem to be where
dogfuckers (sorry k9 ... just an expression)
hang out.

we had a saying,
when i worked
in the public sector -
SHIT FLOATS TO THE TOP
so true

tomorrow i start 5-in-a-row
2 la senza stores -
(yuck - lingerie ...
how many bras and panties
do you think
are in those bins???) and
3 london drug stores -
yes ...
every single fucking thing
gets counted
everything.
counting cereal and toilet paper
is my favourite - big bulky things
stacked neatly - :^))
counting a discount bin
of 2 or 3 hundred of anything
is not my favourite thing,
particularly when each item
must get scanned, individually!

argh - time to smoke something
or ... snort something
hee hee)
*insert evil laughter here*