i am malifice

i have dark thoughts. i imagine nihilistic scenarios in my head. i see these scenarios play out in my mind's eye. i imagine death ... violence ... gore ... bloodshed ... the screeching sounds of a soul in excruciating pain ... the frozen expression of despair in the destitute. i see it all. in my mind's eye. disaster. death or grave illness of loved ones. i hear myself shrieking deep in my psyche. mostly. this energy ... this nihilistic energy gets more powerful the deeper into despair and sorrow i descend.

i have given this nihilistic instrusion into my consciousness a name. malifice, lady of pestilence. at times, i imagine her in some instances as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. malifice rides the pale horse ... she brings suffering and death to the world. at other times i imagine her as a dark figure ... feasting on the bleeding gore she has created. her breath is an icey vapour that destroys all in its path.

malifice will watch you, writhing in pain, restless and fretting. she will press the suffering into every fibre of your being. and then she will suck your soul out. beware ... malifice. cruel and dark vamp. if you have a Y chromosome ... she pleasure in sucking your living soul from its shell ... and desiccating it.

i have given her a voice - read on.

I live in the dark. I breathe suffering. I radiate pain. pain reminds us that we live … have consciousness. pleasure only serves to dull the mind and kill the senses. pleasure kills the soul. rather than run from our pain, let us stroke it, touch it, let it embrace us. listen to that creeping velvet darkness as it kisses our hearts so tenderly. stare into the deep abyss. marvel at its expanse as it threatens to suck your soul from its shell. and remember … only the privileged suffer, my pet. and so … malifice has chosen you to suffer. tendrils of agony will fondle your psyche, and threaten to split it into millions of infinitesimally small shards of nothingness. you will submit. you cannot resist malifice.