solitude

the comfort of solitude
i know it
i also know its
crushing restraint -
in the past 9 weeks
i have hugged or touched
another human being
twice
yes - twice
i feel so solitary
like an amputated limb
cast aside
perhaps my heart
or soul has leprosy?
perhaps ...
that's why i am alone?
spiritual leprosy ....
yeah.
loneliness lurks about
in the darkest hours
of my heart
and also in
the brightest light of day
on sundays i awake
to the sound of the cathedral bells
ringing
and ... in the clamouring
of this glory of g-d
i forget how alone
and amputated
i feel
and then the clamouring,
it stops
and then ...
i am a solitary out cast
once more.

solitude ...
its comforting.