Saturday, April 01, 2006

bright lights and shadows

Saturday, April 01, 2006
okay. so that last post was lame. i admit it. LAME. i seem unable, of late, to access all those shadows - the monsters and demons as i called them - and write about them in any meaningful way. does this mean i have let go of some of this stuff? i dunno. likely its not that easy ... but who knows, maybe it is? i just know that at this moment i cannot really relate to that sadness, that angst, that i clung to for awhile now.

something has happened ... some of you may know, the rest of you don't need to ... an encounter, a connection, with a person. it has not just filled a void in my heart, it has opened my heart to possibilities i never considered before. suddenly, the sun shines on an entirely new corner of my life. am i on a cusp. i feel. its thrilling.

i can feel the sadness, the grief, the loneliness fall away from me, just the same way sand falls thru my fingers. i feel hope, gentle, yet enduring like one of those long spring rains. something, someone, has reached inside me and quelled that burning and restless longing that has seized me for ... well, forever. how does someone do that? i did not think it was possible. i think i've found the missing piece of myself.

7 comments:

Cala Lily said...

Malva,

Baby, the last post was not lame. But grab this ray of sunlight. Grab hold and ride the ride.

The darkness will be there if you need to go back to it. If you don't, can you get a better resolution than that?

Holding a good thought in my heart for you. All good things, all joy, all that is precious and shining and golden. Your heart as a kite soaring in the wind.

mad malva blue said...

lily ... thanx hun. that's what i feel i must do. and yes - wouldn't that be a great resolution?

hoping u are okay? i am holding good thoughts for you, dear lily ...

Lady Prism said...

the last post was NOT lame!...

ey'....be happy!...

mad malva blue said...

thank you, LLV ... =^D

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