bright lights and shadows

okay. so that last post was lame. i admit it. LAME. i seem unable, of late, to access all those shadows - the monsters and demons as i called them - and write about them in any meaningful way. does this mean i have let go of some of this stuff? i dunno. likely its not that easy ... but who knows, maybe it is? i just know that at this moment i cannot really relate to that sadness, that angst, that i clung to for awhile now.

something has happened ... some of you may know, the rest of you don't need to ... an encounter, a connection, with a person. it has not just filled a void in my heart, it has opened my heart to possibilities i never considered before. suddenly, the sun shines on an entirely new corner of my life. am i on a cusp. i feel. its thrilling.

i can feel the sadness, the grief, the loneliness fall away from me, just the same way sand falls thru my fingers. i feel hope, gentle, yet enduring like one of those long spring rains. something, someone, has reached inside me and quelled that burning and restless longing that has seized me for ... well, forever. how does someone do that? i did not think it was possible. i think i've found the missing piece of myself.