another meme

*sigh* ... tagged by susan

1. i watched a man vomit blood to death once; it was the middle of the night in a small rural hospital~we had 20 patients, including 3 on heart monitors and anyone who came thru emergency and were the only 2 nurses for the entire building~the patient's bowel obstructed (he had metastatic cancer); and he died because the hospital's main supply room was locked and we could not get into it to retrieve the nasogastric tube we needed to decompress his vomitting gut.
2. i saw a dynamic hip screw (used to fix a fractured hip) pierce thru a lady's skin after she fell. she had fallen @ home and was waiting to have surgery to put the screw back where it belonged~she had to wait... @ least overnight with that screw dislodged and poking thru the skin ... before getting into surgery.
3. i have a tattoo - a green faery-goblim from brian froud's pressed faery book - its on my lumbar spine and we named him ~splat~
   
4. i see dead people/pets~spirits lurk about everywhere; just because U don't see 'em, doesn't mean they don't exist!
   
5. i dream things that come true and know things that i don't know how i know them.
   
6. i wear estee lauder pleasures intense perfume ... also pleasures exotic.
7. i hate asshole bosses that think they fucking own their employees, their lives and schedules. fuck that shit~as far as i'm concerned, you're fucking lucky i showed up at all! and if got a date ... or when the clock strikes 'end-of-shift' .... watch me walk out the fucking door. i don't work forced overtime, i'm no one's fucking borg and besides, they abolished slavery long ago. that attitude will not get me rich. however it will keep me sane and balance.
   
8. i am mixed; that means my mother is white and my father is brown. as a kid, i got called brown crayon and hated the colour of my skin. once a lady in the laundromat wouldn't let her kid play with me ... because it was obvious that i was mixed (i.e. more brown-skinned than white-skinned).
   
9. i despise loud noises and crowds of people ... also people that walk around or drive around talking on their cell phones - i recently saw a transit bus driver talking on his cell phone while driving the bus (i was on it - a trolley bus, standing room only, @ rush hour) - like - HELLO??? safety???
   
10. i hate call waiting and being put on hold; if you have call waiting and use it on me, i will hang up on you. that's my policy. oh, i hate the phone and typically won't answer it unless i recognize the number calling.
    

Rules Are:

* each blogger starts with eight - ten random facts/habits about themselves…* people who are tagged need to write posts in their own blog about the tag and post these rules…* at the end of your post, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names… *

tagging: infinitesimal~c'mon girl! u r good @ this stuff ... chickory/k9~i know u hate these things, but indulge me, ok? ... not sure who else to tag ... so just DO IT, already!

rhetorical questions

1. why do we live in a society that cares more about how sanjaya's wearing his hair this week, or who will win american idol or what will happen to jack bauer next season ... than about how many humans die at the hands of war, waste, and greed all aaround the world?
2. why do we hold in such high esteem fictional characters, like 'house', who execute behaviours and clinical decisions that would surely get him a suspended license (or disciplined/demoted/censured at the very least)? why is an arrogant, rude prick such a tv hero? is that the behaviour we value - the supreme asshole behaviour? when such a show gains such popularity, isn't that what we're telling our kids?
   
3. why does the country that fluff's itself up on the notion that freedom and democracy have made it successful, have such a stupid dictatorial regime at its helm?
4. where are the weapons of mass destruction? (i think they're in the white house and pentagon - and they don't look at all like what y'all thought they would)
5. why is the us coast guard firing live rounds 100 metres away from orca whales and the tour boats observing them?
6. why does fuel cost 1.20 per litre?
7. why are there still people living in new orleans without infrastructure, so long after katrina? how come a war plan can get executed faster than a disaster rebuilding plan? is there a plan? dare i ask?
8. how come so many revolutionary wannabees think helping eradicate poverty involves anything overseas?
9. why is vancouver building a subway line that links vancouver to the airport, when in the pre-olympic era, residents clearly indicated they did NOT want one?
10. why is it that, post-olympic bid, all of a sudden the [so-pathetic-it-has-already-caved-in-once-under-the-weight-of-all-that-construction- equipment] sea to sky highway (the only highway to whistler from here!) gets rebuilt, when residents have been begging for this for years?
11. why must all the summer fashions for women involve baring as much as much skin as possible, or vulgarly displaying as many curves as possible? do i really need to see that black thong - and a hint of its waistband peaking over top of your pants that look like yer mom left 'em in the dryer too long - ya got peaking thru those tacky, too-tight white capri pants of yours? do i need to see that belly ooze out from that crop top the store never shoulda sold ya? pulllleeeeese! someone call the fucking fashion police?
    
12. whatever happened to leaving something to the imagination? like - doncha know that a guy finds it much more intriguing - much sexier - seeing just bared ankles and bared feet, rather than seeing half of an ass cheek hangin' out of a pair of shorts?
    
13. why is pot illegal? when studies have proven, time and again, that its less harmful than either nicotine or alcohol?
14. why has every human out there convinced him or her self s/he needs a cell phone? get over yourselves! what did you do in the 70s, 80s, 90s? before the advent of cell phones?
15. what's the big fuss about organic food anyway? if organic means you only use 'natural' substances in the growing process, such as shit ... to fertilize ... then count me out. i will take my chances with cancer, or whatever weird disease i will get from the chemical fertilizers in the non-organic food that's already out there. why do i have this impression that organic = fast track to e. coli? hmmmm ... perhaps because e. coli's likely in the shit that gets used to 'naturally' fertilize the organic food? hmmm - do i want e. coli? no. NO. if given a choice i would pick chemotherapy and radiation over dialysis ... just a thought. things aren't ever as they seem, are they?
16. when will i hear about the by-law that will ban repressed anger? i have heard about the smoking ban, the trans-fat ban, the plastic bag ban, the ipod ban, even ... well, given that it's the single biggest causative risk factor in every major disease that shortens human life ... shouldn't we pay some mind to our friend repressed anger? or do we like the fact that it exists, because (among other things) all those insane video clips of all the road raging drivers amuse us?
17. why have humans become so fucking lazy and complacent? why do we need drive thru's? why do we need to drive our fucking cars so fucking much? why do we need to destroy everything, consume everything, pluck everything away from itself? will we evolve from that twisted little child-mind that gets off on pulling the wings from living flies? if so, when?
18. what's with reality tv? ain't reality real enough?
19. why do little children think that the white doll - as compared to the black doll - is the nicer doll? does not that disturb any of you? why have we cultivated a information/entertainment media that sends messages of inferiority to ordinary people who don't look like they've spend 50,000 dollars on tanning salons and plastic surgery? why do we expose our children to such messages? why does this generation grow up hating the way it looks?
    
20. how can love grow, in the shadow of self loathing?

any more to add to this list? feel free to add yours in a comment ...

about a doe

a doe~the symbol of the heart itself. messenger of grace and balance. aware, sensitive, full of inspiration. achieves goals through method and not force. eyes radiate purity and innocence. runs swiftly. changes direction often. takes an angular path. dreamy eyes, restless wandering and swift flight. said to die for pure sound - anahata nada. guides in the process of transformation - a white doe will guide you to your realm, in the spiritual sense.



hunted~i live a restless chase. a silver-hearted doe - timid & sensitive creature . i fear brash noises. i see light that others miss. i seek the serenity of solitude. i run toward the light. and away from it. i spend my days and nights prancing among the trees in the forest of dreams. or languishing in the lush thicket, nestled deep in the bowels of the forest of hope. my nemesis, red coyote - frequently makes chase. at times, i play the hunted. at times, the hunter. today, the red coyote hunts me.

and i grow weary of the chase. red coyote. he’s emerged from himself, once more. the game’s afoot. and so, i run. i do not want to run. my survival instinct says i must. i run. and the urgency of survival presses the breath from my lungs at an alarming rate. and i run. and the desperation of the hunt descends. and i run. and the desperation settles, in the same way a sharp twig or stone settles between my toes.

i run. i must outwit red coyote. my legs grow weary. desperation presses against my soul, which feels limp and deflated. i press through thicket and grassy knolls, in escape of red coyote. branches whip against my slender graceful legs, and on more than one occasion, a twig pierces my skin. wounded. weary. and yet i give chase. pride fuels me at this point - i will not relent. and so i run. the game’s afoot. the chase, engaged. red coyote, on the hunt.

i, hunted.



red coyote, provides himself a most formidable foe. relentless - in his hunt for hind. relentless. and i grow weary. fatigue settles upon me, like sticky wet snowflakes and despair beckons.

as i waiver, i feel tendrils of red coyote’s breath stroke my leg.

a wave of frozen warmth surges inside me. i feel red coyote’s sharp teeth pierce the tender skin of my leg. a cell of energy explodes inside me and i flutter away on the wind. i escape. and, it seems … red coyote retreats.

i hunted … i wounded. i know the hunt has not finished. the red coyote lives tonight. i know not why he retreats. nor when he will return. just that he will. and the silver-hearted doe must ready herself. for what lies ahead.

i hunted. will this chase never end?

a wise voice~written in the third person, just because~the doe grew weary and felt weak of spirit and body. her wounded leg throbbed with fatigue.

she wondered, silently, ‘perhaps i will not win this chase?’

at that moment, she felt a tendril of pleasant warmth stroke her leg. and she felt a voice. yes, felt. the words registered on a more visceral level than just auditory. the voice. calm. it spoke to her heart.

it said, ‘my little doe. if only you would stop running. red coyote will disappear. and the chase will dissolve. stop running. embrace the light.’

puzzled, the doe vaguely noticed that she felt revived. that her leg no longer throbbed. she, of course, could not see that her wound began to heal. and that the light of which the voice spoke lived inside her.

she pondered. a wise and gentle voice that sailed into her heart on the march spring breeze. if she stopped running, then what? whatever does one do, but run? the doe pondered a wise voice. and the elusive light.

a couple of cards?

i am working on i have written the first of a series of tarot posts ~ check it here ... also, working on a post on what i shall call 'social porn' ... i have some fancy paper on which to write infini and maydens letters to accompany the tiny treasures which i want to send each of them ... i have to design a SQL Server database for school and also write a test wednesday of next week. oh ... and i somehow hafta get a birthday card to my mum before the 24th of may! ahahahahaha! (that's why there's expedited mail service - for procrastinators like MOI!) and ... no ... i have not forgotten that i owe chickory and trout a letter/treat.

anyway ... here's a couple of cards for you about a couple of cards (ahahahaha! bad joke, i know!) ... there's a nifty tarot test floating around ... here's my results and also martin's. i gotta tell ya, dead on the mark for both of us! hmmmm ... interesting ....?

MY TAROT CARD

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.
The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. In the Mythic deck she carries Narcissus, and wears a white dress, in the background you can see the grain and red poppies of the Mother - all symbolism from the myth of persephone. In Rider Waite deck she holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. Pomegranates - fruit of the dead - appear on the veil behind Her. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluctuation, particularly when it comes to your moods.>

~@#$%^&*~(+-)~@#$%^&*~(+-)

MARTIN'S TAROT CARD

You are the Hanged Man

Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.
With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of loss from a situation, rather than gain.

The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.

The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

the matrix of truth

do you want the red pill, or the blue pill?

like neo, we all must decide this for ourselves. its a lesson in matrix philosphy - the notion that the manner in which one seeks and views the truth colours the lenses through which s/he engages life. this question - about the red and blue pill - asks us about reality, truth and its pursuit. do we blindly accept whats been given us? what's been taught us? or do we want to press beyond ....? despite what we may find there ....?

for humanity its an eternal question.

the blue pill represents the status quo - the pressure to accept the currently held belief of truth, or risk the label renegade and the ensuing ostracism: "... many people are not ready to be unplugged, and many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.”

the red pill represents pursuit of truth ... at all costs. it symbolizes the cliche: 'be careful what you wish for. you just might get it.' because once s/he beholds truth, one cannot retreat from it. to seek truth does not imply one will uncover reality that one can live with. yet, live with it, one must. therin lies the rub.

indeed, life goes on. its a gift - a breathing, responsive stream of energy that flows independently of our wants and desires and petty frustrations. living = experience + knowledge. existence = experience - knowledge. trinity said to neo, “the Matrix cannot tell you who you are.” so ... that's the question, then. 'who we are' versus the mere 'that we are.' do we feel satisfied sufficiently with the fact of our existence? or ... do we also need meaning to bring light to the painting? only you can answer that. just as only i can answer it.

the stag lives tonight

the problem with republicans?

"i just figured out what the problem is with the american republican party ... the country they wanna run is fictional."

- jon stewart - 16.05.07

one burning questions i have:

why the FUCK does sex hafta sell and/or promote every single fucking thing out there?