forgiveness = surrender

forgiveness .... its a sort of surrender. mayden wrote a post that inspired me .... strangely, i wrote this comment mere minutes before my own evil and ugly exchange with my brother. and so .... fitting i think, that i share it here, with all of you.

remember that jesus asked g-d to forgive those who put him to death. now that is an example of love that many of us will never completely succeed in emulating. but ... still, we must make the effort, mustn't we? christmas and easter seem pretty meaningless if we don't truly get the point of love ... and also get that love isn't something we do only when it works - feels good - for us. love is also something we do when it doesn't feel good. and that is hardest of all. remember, also, that forgiveness is like surrender. our society's media and messages indicate to us that forgiving is losing ... admitting defeat.

so ... someone wronged us. ok. and it hurts like a bitch. ok. do we dwell on that hurt and anger we feel? or do we pick ourselves up from the hatred and hurt cesspool and make a concerted effort to move on, positively and with grace? i have done a lot of soul searching and have decided with my life and family i will choose option 2. i regret that my choice is too late for my late sister, who died before i could make things right for her. remember, then, also, that the things we say to any one person could be the very last thing we say to them. perhaps if we approached every human interaction like that ...? a

s for the others of my siblings - who have inflicted what i thought at the time as unforgiveable hurts - i can love them from afar. live and let live. if i encounter them at a family function, well the room and the world is big enough for all of us. and really, family function are not all about me and how i feel (uncomfortable, to be honest) but about making our mum happy ... we will get hurt in life. that's inevitable, mayden. how we deal with that hurt is what will make all the difference. and make no bones about it - the surrender of forgiveness may not feel great. but life isn't always about feeling great. its just about feeling. and what we do with that feeling. sorry to be soooo long-winded and preachy.

i'm just sharing with you the wisdom i gained from having been in that place you are, feeling the feelings you're feeling. and just remember jesus entered the world humbly and without an fanfare. and so christmas should be ... no fanfare, no big fancy BS. that's what i wish for us all this christmas. regards dear mayden. thinking of you. love your husband. treasure him. i miss mine dearly. so dearly. realize how lucky you are to have your family there ... together. love the pink reefer ps. any situation we encounter in life can be made so much easier or more difficult simply by our reaction. i have learned this time and time again, the hard way.