getting out

we got out today. first time in weeks we got out just for the sake of getting out. nice. really nice. we had dinner at Smitty's Restaurant. Just the three of us. My brother taxi'd us around between his taxing other people. i continue to struggle with the dysfunctional dynamic which operates in mummy's family. it enrages me. and then it messes me up. wulf thinks i should return to him and dedicate myself to my life with him, but he understands why i stay, does not begrudge me, and will follow if that's what i truly want. i feel so much anger at so many things. and grief ... silent, still grief. at what deteriorates right before my eyes. i feel so spent and tired. i feel more acquainted with myself. i feel the writing muse stirring ... stirring.