opening ...

an opening in the chasm of my spirituality. wow. stunning. truly. and liberating. to transcend the old, ineffective manipulations of catholicism. and seek truth. light. purity. not spin. not a heavily filtered vision of light. not a processed and confabulated purity. and so i stepped outside the christianity box. and it felt incredibly liberating. and inspiring. just touching the very edge of judaic thought, philosophy, doctrine -- it ejaculated such momentum into me. filled me with such inner satiety and peace.

i cannot speak to specific issues or philosophical renditions just now. my core just does not possess enough energy to respectfully discuss this right now. just suffice it to say that i have soaked in some refutation of the messianic nature of jesus. the conflicts surrounding jesus, and his failure to fulfil the prophecies, loom. i have soaked in the culture of the populace at the time jesus lived. and ... with regards to the viewing the gospels as a reflection of reality and truth, i remember reading something that alex hailey wrote: 'history is written by the winners.' and so my question of catholicism as a false god continues to circulate in me.

the chasm of my spiritual self runs deep. and wide. my thirst for knowledge, for understanding to fill this chasm, drive me to continue. to read. to devour the writings of the sages. writings which demystify g-d. the kabbalah. spirituality. life. meaning. purpose. self.

opening.