on omniscience, omnipotence and manipulation

so? what’s the verdict? on G-D? omnipotent? or master manipulator? or … does this discussion beg the question of spirituality? on one level, i’m inclined to observe this dialogue i’m having with myself as silly. i mean … why ask the questions? why contemplate the things i really ‘don’t get’ … if i’m not really sure of the g-d entity’s existence? and then, on another level. it makes sense. my need to have this here dialogue about the god entity.

even though i remain noncomittal on the whole g-d belief thing, i absolutely realize that its seared into the fabric of my person … of my self. so … i can choose to disregard the possibility of the god entity altogether. just throw the baby out with the bath water because of the hypocrisy of catholicism and christianity. because of my anger and respulsion at the abuses of power and belief. and deny myself a most important and deeply personal philosophical investigation. clearly, i have reasoned for myself that value of this discussion i have begun here in touching god. so … where does that leave me?

well, it leaves me …. still not prepared to commit, in writing, to belief in a g-d entity. still skeptical of the notion that prayer makes a difference in a situation’s outcome. still viewing prayer and religious ritual as comfort rituals. repititive actions that we can do in times of stress to derive comfort. as opposed to spiritual satellite-links to g-d. and still wondering. this belief in a g-d entity? does it make things seem more meaningful? does it comfort us, to think of some omnipresent, omniscient entity that rules and creates us all? and that altruistically has all our best interests at heart? and … how can will really be free, then, if the omnipresent one lurks about, manipulating the circumstances of our existence?

as you can see, i’m very confused. and i feel this g-d entity thing worthy enough to warrant close inspection. more close inspection. i owe it to myself. to self-elucidate. for so many years i heard the ‘party line’ each sunday, at the ‘party meetings’ that my parents called ‘mass.’ and the indoctrination continued at school, where we learned of the sort of treatment which the loving institution of g-d (read: the catholic church) gave to those individuals who questioned the paradigm force fed to us all. it makes me think of something a very wise man wrote only recently.

and still. i feel no closer to the answers i seek. i’ve muddied the waters. but, then, perhaps i’ve looked at this wrong. perhaps the answers i seek lie in my method of uncovering them. perhaps the answer does not lie in some gleaming ark. or some rustic piece of wood. or some ancient fortress in rome. perhaps the answer lies in the journey itself? perhaps the answer … perhaps it IS the journey?

and so, my question has morphed in the following. why the need to assign omnipotence and omnipresence to g-d? why blindly submit to manipulation and then call it reverence to the absolute truth?

surely more than one path leads to rome, don’t you think?