Je T'Adore

I didn't plan on this, you know. I didn't plan on falling in love with you. Perhaps that's a silly statement to make, since I'm becoming quite convinced that love chooses us, rather than the other way around. So, perhaps, I've loved you all along, in that locked and forbidden corner of my heart that eats fire. And ... just didn't realise. Perhaps, that's it. As I write this, it's a good day. The sensation and experience of your absence isn't eating me alive today. The sunny things about you and the times we spent together, and the sound of your voice over the phone ... these things keep you close to me. Still, I do have the slightest sensation of holding my breath ... waiting to exhale ... waiting to breathe once more. And I have the greatest trouble sleeping at night, when I feel your absence most acutely. I wear a zippered fleece jacket you left behind ... on it your scent lingers. I breathe your scent in daily ... and your jacket keeps me warm in the damp, grey and hollow cold.

We must be together. I can hardly wait, darling. I can almost taste you.