Foto Finish Fridays # 1 ~ Ursus Maritimus

A picture = 1,000 words, maybe even more. The neat thing being, each set of eyes that looks at a picture will see a different story. Pictures inspire us, with their shadows, shapes, curves, colour, depth, and of course their subjects. I have started a new challenge for myself. Each week I will choose a picture ~ featured on a popular website such as Flickr or National Geographic one that I've taken ~ and I will free write about this picture ... about whatever inspirations it stirs within me. Its sort of like I'm finishing the foto . I'm starting this to challenge my imagination and nurture my creative source. For this week, I'm cheating an using this provocative photo I found on the National Geographic website.

Photograph by Paul Nicklen

National Geographic Society

Hello, human. Let me tell you my story. The Inuit call me Anuk. Scientists call me Ursus maritimus. You likely know me as Polar Bear. I live in a dark, austere and unforgiving terrain :: bitterly cold, dark winters, and meager vegetation. Glacial ice encasses most of the landmass here, in Svalbard ~ a cluster of islands halfway between Norway and the North Pole.

I raise my babies on the archipelago's isolated islands. My home has among the highest biodensity in the circumpolar region. The energy-rich waters sustain the ecosystem. My home lies beyond the human edge of possibility. Summer brings perpetual light. Winter brings perpetual darkness. Many of us remain here throughout the year. Except the birds ~ they're carpet baggers of sorts. The sunshine nights force us out of our usual nocturnal rhythm. We eat, and eat, and eat some more. I'm twice the size of a Siberian Tiger. And, I love to swim. Did you know that I can track a scent from a mile away?

Rising temperatures mean melting glacial ice. Over the past 30 years we have witnessed a 30 % decline in sea ice areas. The melting of glacial ice threatens my survival. As you can see in the picture, we had to get pretty good at jumping across the water ~ from ice flow to ice flow. But, some of my kind don't make it to the other side of the water. And they drown. Your chemicals, your pollutants weaken me ~ compromise my immune system and my life expectancy. Fat soluble pollutants harm me the most. Well, I've adapted to changes in my habitat before ... but only time will tell if I and my kind can survive these changes.

8 Things ~ I Highly Recommend You Do in Your Teens

1. Say NO to him ~ if he really loves you like he says he does, then he will wait. Don't settle for second best. You're worth more than that. Besides, you don't want to get pregnant. Its not as glamourous as Angelina Jolie makes it look.

2. Wear that mini-skirt, that short dress, that bikini, even ~ just pullleeeese, girls, don't make the mistake of thinking showing your undies or parts of your bare ass off in public is a good look. Less uncovered often equals more.

3. Wear sunscreen ~ skin cancer sucks ~ its painful and unattractive. Also, the sun exposure weathers your skin.

4. Get your driver's license ~ even if you don't intend on buying a car. And learn how to drive a standard. Take driving lessons ~ your mum or dad ain't the one to teach you driving, trust me.

5. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful ~ in 20 or 30 years you'll look back and see the beauty of your youth. Look closely, the beauty's right there. You're NOT fat. Stop reading that sh!t they put on the magazine stands, like Cosmopolitan. Honey, no one really looks like those girls do. Those girls look like they do in Cosmo because of Photoshop!

6. Stay away from drugs ~ an addiction's the only thing you'll get, if you do dabble in the drug world. Addiction sucks ~ its like having a greedy monkey sitting on your shoulder, obsessing over when she'll get the next banana. Trust me, its never worth the high or the buzz you get.

7. Volunteer ~ its good for you to allocate some of your time to helping others.

8. Read ... and learn how to write ~ reading opens your mind ... it also might even open some doors for you. Research shows that reading promotes the neural connections in your brain and even helps you build new ones.  And writing ~ many people can't write a paragraph or a paper to save their skin. Learn now.

Watch this YouTube video, made by Baz Lurhmann ~ Wear Sunscreen. He says it alot better than I ever could.

Full Moon Dreamers ~ Full Worm Moon

Full Moon Dreamboards ~ a creative way to express what we wish to manifest in a particular month. Each month has a name, a this becomes the theme or inspiration for the dreamboard. For more on Full Moon Dreamboards, visit Jamie's site.

Full Worm Moon ~ March ~ As the temperature begins to warm and the ground begins to thaw, earthworm casts appear, heralding the return of the robins. The more northern tribes knew this Moon as the Full Crow Moon, when the cawing of crows signaled the end of winter; or the Full Crust Moon, because the snow cover becomes crusted from thawing by day and freezing at night. The Full Sap Moon, marking the time of tapping maple trees, is another variation. To the settlers, it was also known as the Lenten Moon, and was considered to be the last full Moon of winter.

Ahhhh. Spring begins to spring ~ the earth softens and begins nourishing life once more. Its a rebirth, of sorts ~ when what's within the earth (i.e. beneath its surface) burrows and sprouts its way through the surface. Perhaps I could take this calling from Mother Earth to soften somewhat, and allow some of that tenderness to reveal itself to others? Its what I wish to manifest in myself this month ~ to tear down the hard ass act ... and reveal a little of the vulnerable me. I suppose I'd like to draw myself out of my self. Or maybe its a pushing or purging?

And, so, here's a photochoppy I made that expresses this sentiment. It seems lacking, perhaps, but my heart says that this expresses what it wishes to express. Surreal Birth.

Wishcasting Wednesday ~ Wishes for Saying Yes

Jamie @ Starshyne Productions inspired this post. Each week, Jamie posts a wish prompt ~ a prompt meant to inspire participants to make a wish on their blogs. Giving and receiving support and encouragement lies at the heart of wishcasting. Visit Starshyne for more info on wishcasting.

This week's Wish Prompt ~ What do you wish to say yes to?

I wish to say yes to embracing the present, that place where life resides. And to the future, with all its possibilities. I wish to say yes to letting go of the anguish, anger and pain of past betrayals. And also to focussing on what I have still, as opposed to what I have lost. I wish to say yes to the surrender of forgiveness. And to the submissiveness of humility.


I wish to say yes to living within my means, to rejecting consumerism and to paying my debts. I wish to say yes to embracing reconciliation in my marriage and to giving myself completely in loving my husband. I wish to say yes to engaging life, coming out of my shell, to the many existing opportunities to participate. I wish to say yes to reinstating my professional nursing license and re-entering the profession for the first time in three years.


I wish to say yes to my creative muse, to writing that novel, to maintaining my blogs. I wish to say yes to supporting and encouraging my 23-year old son, who has moved two provinces away to begin a life with his girlfriend. Most of all, I wish to say yes to healing my body, mind and soul.

What do you wish to say yes to? Happy Wishcasting Wednesday.

Manic Mondays # 2 :: Mixed Episode and the Darkness of Mania

For details on Manic Mondays, please see this post.

Mixed Episode. That's what they call it in the psychiatric world when you feel insanely stimulated and darkly depressed all at one. Degrees of intensity vary from person to person and instance to instance, of course. Irregardless, it feels disconcertingly removed from ... everything and everyone that's supposedly real. It plain hurts, really. Its like trying to drive your car around the busy city whilst flooring the accelerator AND slamming on the brakes ~ like, at the same time.

Mr. Tinkerbell tells me, in the aftermath, that its seems like some evil demon possesses me ... 'its not you ... when you're like that.' Indeed, he's so right. Its sort of not me ... but it is my chemistry and physiology at work. And ... that's what plagued my Friday evening and night ~ a mixed episode. I know the trigger that provoked this latest episode. Just, well, I'm embarrassed to admit the foolish act I committed to trigger my behaviours. But, dear reader, I will.

Its like this ~ I fell off the cocaine abstinence wagon. Yup. Go ahead ... tell me how dumb ... ask me WTF possessed me to do such a dangerous thing. Still, berating myself doesn't alter the reality that I did cocaine again ... even after saying I never, ever would, several months ago! For those of you who don't know ... cocaine feels fabulous ... like an orgasm for the neurons. However, one hit never satisfies the internal monkey. The cocaine monkey, once awakened, wants more and more and more and more and more. She's a greeeeeedy monkey. And she only ever thinks about getting the next banana. Grrrrrrrrr.

Sooo, yeah, I fell off the wagon. And the monkey got pissed off when I cut off her banana supply. Add the stress of being broke and between paydays ... the stress of overcoming marriage strife via form of reconciliation ... the vulnerability that descends in times of unsurity and physical illness ... and the confusion of trying to decide what's right in life. Let's not forget the aging parents that live far away. That's quite a recipe for collapse of some kind.

Angry. I felt possessed by such rage. The kind of rage that makes a person turn normal, household objects into ballistic missiles. The kind of rage that makes a person say vile things to their loved one. The kind of rage to makes a heart race. And, yet ... I felt such despair ~ the despair that deludes you into believing its eternal. I could not reason. I could not negotiate. I could not relent. Self righteous ... lacking insight. Unable to concentrate. Mr. Tinkerbell did the wise thing he always does when I get like this ... he disengaged, silently. In the height of such agitation, one rarely takes time to think about how this behaviour affects persons present. He did not leave. He stayed. And said nothing. How painfully difficult!

After steaming myself into near heat stroke via shower, I turned on my Acer laptop and focussed on the internet ~ my blog, and various sites I have wanted to check out of late. I stayed up until 5 am. But, the internet did provide my brain with the diversion it needed to redirect itself. And, in the process, I discovered the fun of icanhascheezburger, I pimped this blog on various blog directory sites, I discovered psychcentral and I researched some meds I'll need to take.

A misty, sporadic sort of rain fell throughout the day Sunday. Its the sort of weather that makes me feel the dampness in my bones. As night drew closer, the wind picked up, and I could hear the cold howl of the wind, and the angry patter of rain drops hitting the front door. Its early, early Monday morning as I write this. The wind and the rain have settled. Its calm now. Quiet now. I can rest, soon.




Image Credit: Dark Matter by Mary Mattingly

Mad Hatter Syndrome?

Unless you have lived in a remote cave, or under a large rock, for the past many years, then you have heard the phrase mad as a hatter ... and know the beloved Alice in Wonderland character Mad Hatter. So ... WTF does it mean, mad as a hatter?

A hatter, well that's the poor sop who used to make hats, felt hats, specifically. The best sorts of felt hats required fur from beaver or rabbit pelts. And, of course, the fur from the pelts need processing in order to become a hat. By processing, of course we mean the addition of some kind of unfriendly chemicals. (Are there any other kind of chemicals, but the unfriendly kind, i ask you, dear reader?) Mercury applied to the fur made it rougher, matted ~ you know, to harden the fur so the hatter could shape it, iron it, steam it into its finished form, usually a top hat.

Hatters typically worked in poorly ventilated areas, and so the fumes from the mercury compound literally went to their heads. Ahhh, the pleasantries of mercury poisoning: brain damage ... kidney damage ... a painful death, sooner rather than later. What does that look and feel like? Like this ~ yellowing of skin, intense itchiness, loosening of teeth, mouth sores, bleeding gums, loss of co-ordination, slurred speech, and personality changes such as irritability, paranoia, memory loss, depression, anxiety, abdominal cramping, breathing difficulties, cardiac malfunction, muscle cramps. You get the idea, right? Sounds charming, huh? [NOT]

A so, now you know what Mad as a Hatter means. Makes one value sanity, doesn't it? Indeed, it does. It reminds one, too, of the pain of madness. Yes, it hurts when one is mad ... insane ... unstable ... mentally ill. Make no bones about it.

Break-up Songs - Get Angry, Not Soppy!

.. a PLINKY post ...

This post answers the PLINKY prompt that asks bloggers, 'Name three songs to help you get over a break-up.' The prompt also asks what makes these good post-break-up songs.
Haven't heard of PLINKY? It's fun, and maybe helpful if you have blogger's block.

1. I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

2.You're So Vain by Carly Simon
3. Delia's Gone by Johnny Cash

The song titles explain themselves, don't they? I remember listening to the first song on the back seat of my friend's mustang, on a ghetto blaster, coming home from the bar on a Saturday night. Oh, the crazy things we do we we're twenty-something! The second song's a classic break-up song, ain't it? The third song is one for the boys - :^)

And ... I can think of another song ~ Wrapped Around My Finger, by The Police. I have always loved the esoteric, almost arrogant tone of the lyrics.