stranded hope ~ written 4.08.06

sterile and empty
this feeling here -
without you -
inspire me, you do
my precious lotus

demonic --
my longing for you
to touch your incandescent flesh
to taste your velvet lips
to feel the effervescence
of your fingertips

i crave you, lotus - my drug
to see you, my flower --
burning dark eyes and
that face ... startling grace, and
so alive, it consumes itself
demonic longing ...


ps ~ i have no clue who lotus is .... just some character i made up.

Dreams

My darling Pilot;

It's a lovely and quiet Sunday evening and I am sitting here, in front of my screen, listening to a song called Dreams, by a group called The Cranberries. Dreams ~ Pilot, did you know that you lurk about in my dreams? Yes, Beloved. You do. When I feel weightless with longing for you ~ that violent sort of longing that causes my heart to burn ~ I retreat to that dusky spot inside myself ... my inner soul ... and I find you there, waiting for me. Waiting for me ... and watching.

Like I watch you, my Beloved. The method and grace of your movements, the scent of your pillow, the soft texture of your hair, your gentle voice, your golden green eyes ... they have all penetrated my consciousness, imprinted themselves upon the retina of my soul. My existence in your absence feels oppressive, like a vacuum. And wanting you, like I do, Pilot, makes me feel so restless, so fickle. I live outside of my Self, searching, waiting, for my Pilot.

Pilot ~ my body and beloved, my pain and my passion, my mystery and master ~ I yearn for you. It's wonderful. And it hurts. I long to feel near enough to you to taste the flavour of your pulse. And then, darling, in the still of the night, I will ask you if you can feel my thoughts on your skin. Can you, Pilot? Feel them ~ light as the seed cases from dandelions, and moist as only a tongue could feel.

mute monday ~ old man

Inspiration and its Source

Inspiration ~ breathed upon. As in, words, lines or curves breathed onto the page, screen or canvas. The expression breathed upon has divine connotations. It conjures up the imagery of the divine being breathing the creative source into the heart, mind and soul of the inspired one. This implies, then, aura of openness. In order to receive breath, one must relax and open oneself to the experience. Think about the fact that we do have awareness of the fact that our lungs expand approximately 12 times per minute. What happens at those rare, unfortunate moments when we do have such awareness? The Eisenberg principle takes effect ~ manifested as A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, a force which blinds us to the simple and sublime.

Inspiration seems much like a grace ~ unsought (though desired), uncontrolled, and irresistible. The artist's performance involves her body and mind, yet it remains a cherished gift. Inspiration exists prior to consciousness and outside of the realm of skill. It defies comprehension. It embodies the sort of poetic madness that comes from having glimpsed at the empyrean and the ninth sphere of paradise. Inspiration provokes a compulsion to create. Through creation, the artist reaches revelation. The struggle becomes striking a balance between divine impulse and the artist's own human consciousness. Art ~ defined as the product of inspired creation ~ promotes conscious revelation. Does this increase self-awareness? Does it enhance the well-being of one's inner self?

At the core of inspiration lies madness and irrationality, as sourced by genius. What is genius? I think it's an innate ability to channel the frightening beauty of the divine winds. A quick foray into the etymology of the word tells us that, in Ancient Rome, genius described the guiding or guardian spirit of an ancestor who guarded his descendants. Genius ~ guiding spirit. Kant saw genius as 'the ability to independently arrive at and understand concepts that would normally have to be taught by another person.' Focus lies upon the concept of originality ~ a talent for producing ideas which can be described as non-imitative.

Do you know, dear Reader, what are the three characteristics shared by geniuses?

1. Systematic and orderly approaches to problem solving.
2. Sense of wonder, ability to look at things in a fresh, almost childlike way. Keeping an open mind and a flexible attitude on all subjects.
3. Ability to concentrate with greater depth and intensity than the average person.

So ... genius lies within the grasp of us all. Neither excellence achieved at skill performance nor some culturally-biased quantification of intellectual strength embodies the true spirit of genius. Genius refers to the way in which one sees and processes one's surroundings; it requires self tolerance and patience. And of course ... some good, old-fashioned perspiration.

mute monday ~ beauty

The Circle

The story, our story so rich in detail and drizzled with passion, sits in my heart's bosom. It's raw, like an angry wound that silently screams for attention. It's embedded in my viscera. You, Pilot, live in the most visceral and primal of my planes of existence. Beloved, something so visceral, so deeply intertwined within my being ~ I cannot so easily retrieve.

Our story ~ it's like a circle, Pilot. No beginning, no end. Just a [deceivingly] simple-looking euclidean shape. There's a touch of divinity, a touch of perfection, in a circle, isn't there, Pilot? I think so ... I think so. Still ... how do I tell such a story? Where does an entity with no beginning, begin?

who governs?

Who governs this country? The elected Parliament? Or the non-elected Court?

The Court Rules on the 'Safe Injection Site'

I wonder what sort of precedent this type of ruling sets regarding law-making in this country. In Political Science class the prof. told us that Parliament makes law ... Parliament, of course, being a body of representatives elected by the people. If the Court makes a ruling regarding the direction in which the country's drug and addiction policy should go, shouldn't we, average citizens feel quite wary? If decisions regarding the direction of this country's law-making, addiction-health policy, and expenditure of public funds become those of the Court, then, how do I, citizen josephine, make my voice heard? Isn't that why we hold elections, after so carefully considering all the candidates? Isn't the point to select the representative and (ultimately, political party), that we believe and feel will best carry our perspective to the law-making table? What does it mean, then, if the representatives we elect cannot take a policy direction (i.e. that, presumably, we elected them to take), because the Court will not allow it?

Who governs? Does the Court make new law, or merely enforce the existing law? Who governs?